How to spot a chav car

How to spot a chav car

1 - The chav will most probably be wearing burbarry and cheap gold from Argos. Remember, they have no taste and it gives them away.

2 - The chav will stare at you, because he thinks he's hard. He's not. He's a tt. Be sure to tell him so. "Oi, chav... yer a tt!" should do the trick.

3 - His car will be @*&%$. This one's a giveaway sign. He'll drive a small, cheap car because that's all his benefit, or fudge packing job will allow him to buy. He will think he's driving a evo, he's not. Tell him so.

4 - His car will have lights on it that flash in sequence. It's a special code that means 'I am a tt, with a @*&%$ car. Laugh at me and tell me so".

5 - He'll be a tt.

6 - When he sits in his car, he will barely be able to see over the steering wheel. This is because he is a tt, and is under the impression that by lowering his seat he somehow looks 'cool'. He doesn't... don't forget to tell him so.

7 - His car will sound like your dad's hedge trimmer. This is because he's fitted a Halfords exhaust on a car with a tiny engine. He thinks it makes his car sound powerful. It doesn't. You know what to do.

8 - The chav moves in herds for protection. You will find them in McDonalds car parks, and other areas where they can gather to congratulate each other on their impressive beasts. This is a good opportunity to strike, scattering them as they flee in terror.

9 - Don't forget, the chav is a tt.

10 - Finally, and most importantly, the chav drives a very slow car, but is under the mis-guided impression that it's fast. Race him, he will most likely kill himself as the weight of his fibreglass add-ons cause his car to topple on bends. Remember, the more chavs you kill, the more bouqets of flowers are left on roadsides.

Boquets are nice, they brighten the place up. Kill a chav, make your town look nice!

How spot on is that!!!! there's one at top of my road, 5" drainpipe stickin out the back of his nova, can wake the dead but dont get going quick enough to ever catch em

LOVE IT

Ooops. Have I been spotted